Where is God in all the mess?

Sometimes it’s hard to get my head around writing certain posts. This is one of them. Two Sundays ago I was sitting in the home of one of the mums in our womens empowerment program. When we first became aware of her early last year, neither she nor her children had eaten for a few days. At first glance it was obvious her baby had down syndrome and one of her older girls was suffering from malnutrition – she was also blind, mute and unable to sit or even feed herself. Her support network was sitting at about zero, her husband who she hadn’t seen for several months had multiple wives and only visited her occasionally, providing no source of income. Children with disabilities are commonly shunned here due to many reasons, and the fact that she still had them both was a credit to her as many would have abandoned them long ago. Her situation could at best be described as desperate. Fast forward about one year, and she is now earning an income through the skills she’s learned in our program and is receiving continual business mentoring and encouragement as she looks for additional business to boost her income. Hope has entered her world, and the smile that she now wears is evidence that it exists. 

Back to that Sunday afternoon. Despite the trips to various doctors and hospitals over the past year seeking treatment or advice for her older daughters failing condition, we were no closer to any answers. In fact, as horrible as it is to say, it seemed very clear the doctors saw no value in her life and wanted to wipe their hands of her.

At ten years she weighs just 10kg (the weight of my babies at around one year). While we have been providing nutritional support for her, we’ve been unable to access some specialised therapeutic foods that this sweet girl so desperately needs. So here I sat with our new Jordan House nurse, and another two JH staff. This day we were determined to come up with a workable plan before it was too late. It wasn’t as simple as finding a hospital that would admit her. In Uganda, a caregiver must stay with a patient to provide basic cares and food or they will simply be left – unfed and often untreated. The problem we faced was a single mum with 5 children and no-one else to go to the hospital in her place nor to stay with her children at home if she went. To complicate it more, she needed an extended hospital stay which would mean even if mum could go with her to hospital she wouldn’t be able to work to earn an income, she had no money saved to provide food for the children at home and she’d still need to pay rent while she was gone. 

And then we saw the five year old daughter that was sick with measles. Which means the other children in the family including Rita and her baby sister with downs that already had a nasty chest infection had been exposed to it. People die from measles complications here. Just last week I heard of another three victims. These two girls already had struggling immune systems. The fact that my bare feet were in a puddle of urine on the concrete floor wasn’t enough to distract me from the tears that were threatening to spill – hadn’t this family faced enough? Needless to say, we came up with a plan that has since been adjusted several times. Rita is finally in a nutrition ward receiving the treatment she needs (though that is another post in itself). We’re closely monitoring her progress as there’s 150 patients on the ward with only a handful of staff, so to make sure she gets what she needs we have to be very proactive.

I was thinking later that night – how easy it is to ask God where He is in all this mess. The previous few days I’d been monitoring a girl in the community very sick with measles, her mother having spent her last money on some juice for her and now unable to afford any treatment or food as she couldn’t work while looking after her daughter. And then there was the single pregnant mother to be who came to Jordan House asking me what she had to do to get her unborn baby into the orphanage. Out it came, just like someone would ask for travel directions. Then she introduced me to her sister who she lived with, also pregnant and without a job and wanting us to take her baby when it was born too as they just didn’t know how they’d be able to bring up children if they were unable to work. 

God gently reminded me that he’s exactly where he has always been and always will be. He’s right in the middle of the mess –over the course of the next few days we saw him working through the person that gave money towards Ritas care, he’s showing himself through the team at Jordan House that have committed to feed Ritas family every day while she’s at the hospital with her mum and baby sister. He uses the generosity of those on the other side of the world to provide for us to be here to show Ritas family someone cares and will advocate on her behalf. He’s evident in the nurse that took pity on her and went out of her way to make sure she got her scan done quickly through another department instead of waiting in line all day. His love shines through as our social worker sits with mums looking at ways we can support them to keep their children, and as the church takes food parcels to those that have empty pots - and through it all we see God ministering his peace, joy and hope to worried mothers hearts.

We are reminded again and again that God is never absent from our pain or the suffering we see around us. His heart is probably breaking even more than ours. No matter how we feel. Sometimes we just have to trust God no matter what situations we face and understand that we’re not going to have all the answers this side of heaven, and that’s ok. So instead of asking “where is God?” maybe we should be asking “where does God want me in all the mess?”  

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15v13

"Please fast come..."

Last Thursday morning our friend Richard who does some work for us, turned up at our gate – his wide smile and twinkling eyes a sure indication that his pregnant wife was finally in labour. After unsuccessfully taking her on the back of a boda (motorbike taxi) from roadside clinic to hospital, trying to find somewhere for her to deliver the baby that didn’t cost, but also didn’t have a bad reputation, he eventually took her back to the midwifes clinic that had provided her with ante natal care and charged around $45 for the delivery. He came to us with no way to pay, nor all the necessary supplies required by the midwife let alone supplies for the baby. Due to a tragic experience around a month earlier, this hardworking man had been left without any money to put towards the birth. 

I told him we’d take care of the cost of the delivery, knowing that when Pete got home he would’ve done the same thing. We didn’t anticipate that when I left with him to get supplies and assist his wife at the clinic, that I’d still be with them for the best part of the next 3 days throughout a labour no mum would wish to remember. 

Pete and I had just been dissecting Isaiah 58 the day before, and going over some verses that God had spoken to us several years ago that really are our life verses. We'd been talking about how some of the verses you really can't take any way but literally, no matter how much one wants to try to put a different angle on it to make it more palitable or easier. We decided that often we just have to do things that unsettle our way of life and it costs. Little did we know what opportunity God would present the next morning! 

I arrived at the clinic which was also the midwifes house, to find Phiona in early stages of labour. The midwife wasn’t going to be there til four pm so her daughter advised us to go back home and come back after four. We returned that night after trying to carefully navigate my way around the terribly pot-holed dirt roads with contractions around 3 minutes apart. You'd think these roads alone would be enough to move a labour along! We were met by the grey-haired midwife who began nursing in the early 60’s and was now struggling to walk as well as stay awake. She went over the rules of having a baby at her clinic. 1) No using the pit latrine, nor going outside the room in case you had the baby outside and threw it into the latrine. Yip, that was the rule. At one stage the midwife threatened to lock my friend in the room so she’d comply. We were having a great time. I left about 10:30 that night and said to call if they needed me. Throughout this whole process my aim was to be a support to them without wanting to disempower them by making all their decisions, though I didn’t have a good feeling about how things were progressing and as time went on it became apparent that they were looking to me not only as a support, but as a nurse, mother and someone these scared first time parents trusted that they believed would make sure everything was ok. No pressure or anything! Over the course of the next 30ish hours the midwife popped in a few times – she’d lie on the bed (yes, I’m talking about the midwife – not the labouring mum), talk about her own labour that lasted seven days, then laugh at the pain my friend was in. Can you tell we were becoming good friends?! It dawned on me that this was the same midwife that had told her she would have her baby 5 weeks before her due date (even gave her an exact day) as apparently all first time mums have their babies early. It was also the same one that had failed to give her any indication of what labour or childbirth would be like, and the mum sat with her jaw dropped open at my kitchen table in early January as I explained signs of labour and she realised she wouldn’t just go to the clinic on January 29 and have the baby magically arrive. Seven weeks later, here we sat.

many hours spent walking up and down here outside the room

The latrine, middle door

The latrine. Sadly, it's not too uncommon to hear of babies found in varying forms of these. On one of my visits I checked how easy it would be to get a baby out, & decided it would be near impossible.

Early Friday morning I got a phone call to come back to the clinic. Pete filled the thermos with warm milk for me to take up with some bread for their breakfast as no food or water is provided at clinics and nearly all hospitals here. I turn up and hear how the labours continued steadily overnight with no sleep to be had by either of the new parents, though the midwife informed me she’d had a great sleep and had slept all night. The new dad-to-be asks me to stay with his wife while he goes home and checks their house. He was also keen to have a little sleep as he’d been up for the past two nights. We spent many hours before he returned, walking up and down the narrow path beside the clinic to see if things would heat up a bit. I dispelled a few myths about white people never breastfeeding, not knowing how to grow food or work the land, and never sleeping in the same room as their babies. We also talked about the Ugandan culture surrounding childbirth and the husbands role (or lack of role) in it! It’s still very much a womens thing, where the men have very little involvement if any, other than making the baby in the first place. So it was no surprise when her husband returned ten hours later in his Sunday best to welcome the child he thought must have surely come by now!

Things were looking like we’d be seeing a baby soon so thinking my fears were maybe misplaced we agreed that I’d go home and they’d call if they needed me. 4:15 Saturday morning my phone rang. “It’s bad, we have to go to Malago (main public hospital) now, please come”. Pete and I both get dressed and quickly drive off. On the way to the clinic we briefly discuss the possibility of taking her to the international hospital that is 15 minutes closer and doesn’t have the same frequent horror stories of mothers and babies dying in childbirth. When we arrived I could almost physically feel the mums pain - fully dilated for hours, writhing in agony, no pain relief to offer even slight comfort. We get her into the car and the midwife offers for me to borrow her forceps to take to Mulago in case she’ll need a forceps delivery. The picture of me having to do a forceps delivery in a ward full of labouring women with one or two midwives seeing to them all, coupled with the all too frequent stories of childbirth deaths made the decision to take her to the international hospital an obvious one. We’d do whatever it took to make sure both mum and baby made it through alive. Pete and I briefly discuss the approximate cost of a natural delivery, and decide we’d manage if we just pull from wherever we could and pray it’s not a caesarean as we didn’t have that kind of money.

We get to the international hospital, rush her into the emergency dept and are met with the worlds slowest nurses who argue that she can’t really have been in labour for two days and I have to push and keep pushing to get her up to the labour ward and seen by a doctor. An hour later we get there and the doctor and midwife decide to wait for two hours to see if she’ll be able to deliver naturally before intervening. Pete and I go home just before the sun begins to rise and little girls wonder where their mummy and daddy are (we did wake the older kids to let them know!). A few hours later I get a call “please fast come”. That’s it, nothing else. Not knowing what might be happening, I rush to get there and am met by a distraught husband saying “the baby’s not happy. You go in”. I walk into the delivery room not realising my presence there has now released the husband to go home. He really was doing a fantastic job and had been quite counter cultural the last few days. After telling me the baby was in distress and the mother not doing well, the midwife also took my presence to be her cue to step out of the room for a while, leaving me with a fully dilated mum, onto her I don’t know what hour of pushing to no avail and crying “aunty, please make the pain stop”. Memories of the wonderful midwife that had delivered five of my six babies flooded back, and I found myself imitating the way she had coached me through. Meanwhile, the midwife returned to say the gynaecologist would see her in half an hour. By the time the half hour was up she was already prepped for theatre as it was obvious this baby wasn’t going to come out on it’s own and the midwife and I were wheeling her down to theatre. 

I hadn’t realised Richard had gone home, so was surprised when I rung to see where he was that he asked for them to delay surgery for an hour for him to walk back to the hospital! He begged me not to let them operate on her. Later I was to learn of the past experiences his family had with surgery resulting in the deaths of both a mum and baby.  I had to be blunt, and explained that it was an emergency and delaying wasn’t an option – his baby might die. He hung up on me. I went back to the ward to wait. I’m feeling the pressure about now as even though it wasn’t my decision to do a C-section, I’d supported it and even though this was our only shot of a safe arrival, if it went badly I was the one that had brought them to this hospital and the one they’d trusted. I remembered the prayer we’d prayed with Richard in the early hours of the morning, praying that God would guide the medical staff and give them wisdom to make the right decisions that would result in a safe delivery. I quickly prayed again.  An hour and a half later Richard and his brother found me waiting there and said we needed to hurry to theatre, I needed to talk to them because they were delaying and he doesn’t want his baby to die. They were waiting for the next available anethetist and meantime asked for one of us to scrub in to keep the mother calm. This was WAAAAAAY beyond what Richard could get his head around despite me saying he’d get to see his baby enter the world he just wasn’t into it. He said I must go and look after his wife and he’d wait. I have to be totally honest here, the nurse in me was a little excited at the opportunity even though I wished she didn’t need the operation. Needless to say, I got into some scrubs and entered the theatre. I don’t know how long I held my breath for when the lifeless looking baby arrived, waiting for her to cry or give some other sign of life. At some stage it happened, and I knew then that everything would be ok. The surgeon quietly said another hour and the baby wouldn’t have survived. 

Waiting to go in to theatre, couldn't resist taking a self portrait with my phone!

A month earlier Pete and I had been told that they wanted us to name their baby. We would give her an English name and they’d give her an African name. We didn’t know then how attached to this baby we’d be by the time she was born, or what she and her mum would have to go through to get her here. A few hours after her arrival they reminded us we needed to name her. She got her name yesterday.  Without discussing it, we both knew her name was to be Blessing. We came up with a couple of other options in case her parents didn’t like that name and presented them all to them. In unison, they said “it’s Blessing. Baby Blessing”.  It was fun to see the brief look of shock on their faces though when before we gave the real names, Pete said we wanted her to be called Peter! Thankfully they knew us well enough to know he was joking!

Baby Blessing at 4 hours old

We really don’t know what each day is going to bring. We thought cutting back a bit on our food for the month would enable us to pay for the necessary supplies and the slightly dodgy clinic birth, but little did we know that God had a greater challenge in front of us. Were we really willing to spend ourselves (literally) on behalf of the needy? When faced with the hospital bill of several million shillings yesterday we felt it. And I think sometimes we’re meant to.  Spending ourselves isn’t about giving away something that we don’t need, it’s not paying for an operation out of our excess, nor giving away some of our surplus clothes. It is to be of help in whatever way needed, and sometimes that’s going to cost. And that’s ok. 

Isaiah 58

6“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

7Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked, to clothe him,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

8Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness^a will go before you,

and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

9Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,

with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

10and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday.

11The Lord will guide you always;

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like a spring whose waters never fail.

12Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins

and will raise up the age-old foundations;

you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,

Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Love is spoken here

I’m often asked if I’m loving it here. I’m presuming people mean the warm feeling of deep satisfaction you get when you’re really enjoying something. Good question - and one I find really hard to answer! This is my attempt ……
Love is much more than a warm feeling; it’s an attitude that is revealed through action.
When God called us to sell everything and move our family of 8 to Africa, he didn’t promise that we were going to love it all day long. Which I don’t. It doesn’t mean I hate it. In fact, you’ll see it’s just the opposite if you read all the way down. It simply means He made it clear to us the way He wants us to use our passions, skills and gifts for His glory. Just ‘loving it’ in the ‘totally enjoying every minute of it, warm fuzzy feeling’ kind of way isn’t how I’d describe it. I often get overwhelmed by the need surrounding me and my heart hurts with the enormity of it. I’ve learned it’s possible to cry tears of both sadness and joy at the same time, and often words escape me and I find it hard to describe how I’m feeling. It certainly doesn’t mean I want to pack up and go home – so don’t read this wrong!
Do I love being away from my friends and family? No

Do I love the fact that my kids struggle to maintain wonderful childhood friendships from half a world away? No

Do I love living in an overpopulated dusty city that is overflowing with rubbish, waste and who knows what else? No

Do I love being constantly surrounded by desperation, hopelessness and need, and feeling totally inadequate? No

I thank God for his grace - it covers my weakness. His Spirit - it comforts my soul. His love - that casts out my fear. His strength - which I can draw on daily. His will – which he invites us all to be a part of. His peace – which surpasses all understanding, and my response: would I want to be any other place – No.

Yes - I love the people here, and feel loved by those that have claimed us as their family.

Yes – I love seeing my children learn what it really means to love.

Yes - I love seeing us all having to rely on God in a deeper and more meaningful way than before.

Yes – I love the privilege of serving God alongside my family in whatever way he sees fit.

Yes – I love the stories of hope that arise out of despair.

Yes – I love Gods word that says He will work everything together for good for those that love him and are called according to his purpose.

My family will continue to speak the language of love on days we feel like it and on days we don’t, when it’s convenient and when it’s not, when it’s easy and when it costs. So, I guess you could say I’m loving it here, just not in the way most would think. I will most likely continue to shed tears of both sadness and joy at the same time. Hard to understand maybe, but that’s how it is. Above all, I know this is where God wants us, and I know that I can fully trust Him.

With

absolutely

everything

Eyes to see...

I know it's been a few weeks now since I posted here - oops! Not that nothings been happening, just haven't gotten around to blogging about it! Anyway, I just read this post from a sweet friend - Kelly Rackley who actually does a pretty good job of keeping her blog updated, and just had to copy it share it because she did such a great job of not only describing some of our life here, but sharing the difference between looking vs seeing. She and her hubby and six of their eight kids (same ages as ours!) moved here about a month before us. They've been our sanity savers at times - and God through his over the top goodness provided friends for all our kids IN THE ONE FAMILY!! Picture 12 kids playing happily together til someone gets hurt, while 4 parents hang out and get their heads around doing life here. This is their blog if you want to read more about their adventures, and below I've pasted her post on "Looking vs Seeing"

There's a difference between looking and seeing. When you live somewhere it's easy to just look at things around you...but not really see. You can become so "used" to looking at certain aspects of where you live that you fail to see them...you almost become callous to life around you. Yesterday I was on the back of the boda (motorcycle) and I took the time to see life around me.

I saw a woman, heavy with child, carrying a basket of bananas on her head.

I saw a man straining to push a bicycle laden with sugar cane up a steep hill.

I saw a family of 7 living in a one room concrete house.

I saw 4 children running too close to the busy road. No one was watching them.

I saw a lady squatting to use the restroom...right in public. Stripped of dignity.

I saw an old man with gray hair. Only the 2nd old person I've seen since we moved here.

I saw a man pushing the wooden wheelbarrow full of watermelons and pineapples. Trying to provide for his family at home.

I saw 3 women laughing and chatting outside the tailoring shop.

I saw cows holding up traffic as they crossed the street.

I saw children playing with a crushed water bottle. Pushing it with a stick for fun.

I saw men running beside cars selling everything: jumper cables, pruning shears, sunglasses, newspapers, bags of beans, inflatable swimming pools, brooms, belts, purses, toys, everything. Working hard every day. All day.

I saw the woman sitting on the side of the road looking lost and alone.

I saw a little girl wearing purple crocs. Nothing else.

I saw a woman dressed in beautiful clothes, walking with her children to church.

I saw trash everywhere. Everywhere.

I saw 2 ladies, their children with them, struggling to keep a small store open. One had her head in her hands and the other was sleeping, leaned up against the counter.

I saw a little boy smile at me and wave, "Hi, mzungu."

I looked and I saw poverty. I saw hopelessness. I saw despair. But I also saw life. And determination. And strength. I saw people that need Jesus. 

I looked and I saw. I pray that I will see life here through Jesus' eyes. He loves these people. He died for them. He's sent us here to bring them His love and His hope. I don't have any idea what to do about the things I saw yesterday. But I saw. I am changing. I want to love like Jesus loves.

Yip. Me too... 

Don't stop, fill every pot!

While reading the littlies a bible story the other night, it felt like I was reading from my new daily life – until I got to a certain point. Let me back up a bit and read you a story. The story of the Widows Oil.

There was once a woman who had no husband. She had no food. She had no money. But she had plenty of problems.

Knock! Knock! Knock! There was one more problem waiting at the door. A man was outside. The woman was inside. She opened the door.

“Give me the money you owe!” demanded the man. “But I have no money,” the woman said. “Give me the money, or give me your sons!” said the man, then he left.

The woman was very unhappy.
She hurried to find Elisha. Elisha was God’s friend.

“My husband owed money to a man,” the woman told Elisha, “but now my husband is dead. I have no money. The man said he will take my sons if I don’t pay him.”

“How can I help?” asked Elisha. “Tell me what you have in your house.” “Nothing,” the woman answered, “except a little oil.”

So far, the story is VERY similar to what we experience on a regular basis at Jordan House. A lot of the people in the slums of Kasubi where we work are widows who have very little or no food, no money and plenty of problems. Often money is owed to landlords (yes, even in the slums you have to pay to live in a small rundown room we may think is only suitable for storing wood or dogs), or to others that have lent them money. A womans sons might not be taken off her (or they might), but she may be forced out of her house or to abandon her children or similar. We see these woman both in the community and when they come to Jordan House knowing there’s ‘friends of God’ there to ask for help.

We find out more about their situation, and what resources they have available to them, and it wouldn’t be out of place for one to say they had only a little oil.
Now we’re up to the part where I got challenged big time, and I think it’s a challenge we should all think about. Elishas response. He served the same God we serve, and he was human just like us. Yet his response was so different to the response we often have. His response shouted his unwavering faith.

“Go,” said Elisha, “Ask all your neighbours for empty pots. Don’t ask some of your neighbours – ask them all. And don’t ask for just a few pots – ask for as many as your friends can lend you. Then go inside your house. Shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the pots. As each pot is filled, put it aside. Don’t stop... fill every pot!”

The woman had only a tiny bit of oil… just a few drips. Not enough to fill many pots. Not enough to fill any pots! But she did not argue. She believed God would do a miracle.

To cut the story short for those not familiar with it – she does as Elisha says and the miracle happens, she sells the oil as instructed, pays off her debt and lives off the rest. You can read it in 2 Kings 4

Our response is to assess the situation (as Elisha also did), then to prayerfully see what we should do to bring about a long term solution to the problem eg/ micro-finance loan or free training in our womens empowerment course leading to employment, as well as often meeting the immediate need for food in the form of a food parcel if necessary, child sponsorship or some other form of support. Often these are steps of faith in themselves because our funds are definitely limited and it’s often a challenge to seek out the best long term solution for each particular family - rather than just giving handouts, and not seeing their situation change. We pray with them, and have seen God answer prayer, but we’ve never told anyone to ask their neighbours for empty bottles to fill with the little oil they have in their house. And we may not be meant to anyway - but my point is ‘would I be willing to do that if God asked me to? Would I have the faith to do that?’

It’s so much easier to come up with a practical solution to a problem than to believe God would do something as crazy as not letting someones oil run out. But sometimes that might be just what he wants us to do, or something on an equivalent scale. I’m praying for the faith to believe for the absolutely seemingly impossible - that can only direct all glory back to him. The fact that our family is even in Uganda is testament to his ability to do that, but I want to see it every day. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be finding ways to physically care for the widowed, orphanded and poor, because I firmly believe we should and Gods word clearly tells us we should. But God didn’t mean for his miraculous intervention to be an exception to the rule. John 14:12-14 says "I tell you the truth. The person that believes in me will do the same things I have done. Yes! He will do even greater things than I have done. Why? Because I am going to the Father. And if you ask for anything in my name, I will do it for you. Then the Father's glory will be shown through the Son. If you ask me for anything in my name, I will do it."
God already promises he’ll come through. Sometimes the physical help we offer is indeed him doing just that and answering a widow or childs prayer, but I think sometimes we may need to pray a bit more dangerously and be ready to follow through on what he asks of us, believing that he IS true to his word.

Challenged much? I sure am!

The 'Man - God is sooo cool' house story

OK, here’s a ‘got God written all over it’ story for you! (It's a  bit long, but worth reading right down to the end!) I've linked this post to Linnys blog over at A Place Called Simplicity as a memorial box Monday post (even tho it's not Monday!). Click here to read about Memorial Boxes, it's something I've been wanting to start for a long time & I think a little house will be perfect for our box when we get it!

On the last day of our time in Uganda, we went looking at rental houses with the couple we’ll be working with & an agent. We weren’t looking to sign up for anything, just to see what’s available for the money we’re budgeting, & for the Bartons to get an idea of what we’re looking for to be able to look for one before our return. The first house we come to we just think - what on earth are we doing even looking at a place like this, way above our budget. Anyway, we walk in and it just felt like we were coming home. We went on to look at some more homes – some had bigger yards, or other features but we just really felt that first place was where we’re meant to live! This was early October, & we aren’t needing a place til Jan/Feb. The Bartons suggested getting the landlady around for a chat, turns out it’s the same landlady they have! They agreed it would be a miracle if we could get it for the money we were budgeting (a large amount below what she was wanting), & that even if she agreed, we’d most likely have to agree to rent increases each year. It’s also common for someone to take a few days/week deciding before coming to a decision on such matters. We were flying home the next day!

Within 15 minutes or so of meeting, the landlady agreed to our price, no mention of rent increases for the next 3 years & the current tenants move out end of November, then she wants to do a few repairs before renting it out so we wouldn’t take over the lease til beginning of January! That’s enough for a happy dance right there, but the story’s just starting!! It’s a great place – & compared to everything else we saw for the money we got a fantastic deal! Even has 4 bedrooms which we didn’t expect to get!

That night lying in bed, it hit me……… We’d signed up to rent a house for the next 3 years & agreed to pay 3 months rent end of November to secure it, another 3 months rent beginning of January (it’s standard to pay rent 6mths in advance in Uganda), and we hadn’t even sold our house yet!! In fact, we hadn’t even had a call from an agent about it for the last 5 months! Clear as day (or night as it was!) God spoke into my spirit telling me to stop praying for the house to sell, it’s already sold. Just pray that what has already been done in the spiritual, be outworked in the natural. Mmmm… ok….. will do! So that’s how we started praying, & asked those praying with us to agree with us in prayer for the sale to show in the natural! You always feel a bit vulnerable putting yourself out there like that. Is that really what God said? What happens if the house doesn’t sell? Are we going to look like total idiots?!!

Well, that night we didn’t sleep much! We went back the next morning to take Josiah for a look through the house, and it still felt just as right as the day before! Not even the hindu prayer shrine could put us off! I thought it'd be cool if when we got home an agent rung to say he had people wanting to come through and it sold straight away! Cool. But not quite reality.

So we fly home & within 30 mins of turning my cellphone on back in NZ, it rings. Yes, an agent. Yes, this is still a true story! After 5 months of nothing (we didn’t even bother telling them we’d be away cos they weren’t bringing people through!) They wanted to bring someone through right then and there! They’d had a look at the outside & were busting to look through! We arranged for them to come 2 days later and they loved it!! Only problem – they had a house to sell before they could buy anything. Ok, that wasn’t in my picture of how it should go. Just like ours, their house had also been on the market since the beginning of the year. We kept them in the back of our mind, & wondered if we could do a trade with a cash difference as we were looking to buy a rental property. They were wondering the same thing, but with the price they were wanting that wouldn’t work out. Meantime, we’ve been trying not to have a quiet little panic about needing to raise thousands of dollars in the next few weeks to pay rent in advance. 

So, onto plan B. We started praying that if they were the ones God wanted to buy our home, nothing would get in the way of them buying it, & that he would bring a buyer for their home real quick! One week later our agent calls, “Guess what! Someone’s interested in their house!” Then on the day our family prayed for a sale to be settled for their place that day, the agent rung again saying they’ve just sold! Without making a long but very cool story any longer, they looked through our place again & we now have a deal! LIM report being the only condition. The kids have been praying we’ll sell but not have to be out til after Christmas, & we’ve been saying “No, we need the money for tickets before then!” even though we’d love to be able to just leave from here without needing to have an extra move, but God had that sorted too. Settlement date Jan 14!!! And the deposit (which we didn’t realise we get when it goes unconditional) covers our tickets, Ugandan house rental, & the furniture we’ve commited to buying over there from a family leaving!). Actually, it pretty much covers what we need to pay for to the cent. Gotta love the way God works, he's just so, so awesome!

So, sell house – CHECK!

Now to try and raise our monthly support in the next 8 weeks!

Uganda Update

For those that wanted to be kept in the ‘loop’ here’s where we’re at. We’re getting our house ready to put on the market – aiming to have it on by beginning of December but don’t know if that’s a bit ambitious – still lots to do! When it sells, we’ll buy a smaller place that we can live in til we go, then rent out. It’ll be strange living in suburbia again but maybe good practice?! If you know someone thinking about buying semi-rural, we know just the place for them!


We’re looking into various ministries operating in Uganda to see where we best fit, and praying God will open and close doors of opportunity. Of course, we can’t wait to get there and start loving on the Ugandan people, but we know that this time of preparation will be crucial in helping us go the distance. We’re starting to make connections both here and in Uganda that we know will be a huge blessing to us.


We’re trying to prepare as much as possible for life in a culture that will be so different to the one we know. We’re learning as much as we can about the country and the people, and regularly clean the library out of books & dvds on East Africa! We’ve got recipes to try, people to talk to, skirts to get used to (for me that is!), some basic Lugandan and Swahili to practice, customs and ettique to learn – and that’s just the start!


Along the way, God keeps breaking our hearts all over again for what breaks His, and opening our eyes to a world in so much need of Jesus and all that His name encompasses.


Our kids are both excited and apprehensive – in their own ways, they’ve really been counting the cost of going, and have been coming to terms with some of what they’ll be giving up or missing out on. At the same time, God is soooo crazy good, and I just love that we can see that God has been speaking to, and wooing each one, and I just love their hearts to serve Him by serving the ‘least of these’. So if you ask their thoughts on the adventure, don’t be surprised if one day there response will be “Nah, don’t want to” and the next day keen as mustard. Like us, there are days we all think it’d just be easier to stay home where it’s comfortable and easy!

We're loving the hearts of our friends who offer to partner with us through support, encouragement and prayer even though you might think we’re crazy! We know that not everyone’s called to move their family to another continent to care for the orphans, widows and the poor. We love how God designed for some of us to be senders, goers, prayers, resourcers etc… how the whole body of Christ is designed to work together! Throughout scripture God pleads on behalf of the orphan. He doesn't say, "if it’s your thing – care for the orphans and widows", or "if it doesn’t inconvenience you". He just expects us to do it – but for every one that cost is different. The key is, finding out in which way God wants you to care for the least of these and then doing it. Simple huh?! A Christian life that costs nothings, means just that.

c'mon I know you're thinkin about it, don't you smile now!

No hiding, just do it!
So that’s where we’re at! Of course, we’ve still got all the everyday life bits happening too; our He cat–She cat unexpectedly having kittens, homeschooling, running a business, family, friends, bathrooms to clean, kids to cuddle, messes to clean up – Love it!!!

The road less traveled - part 3

You know when you have that feeling that change is in the air but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is? That’s what the past couple of years have been like for us, and even more so this year. You know Gods got something new planned & has you in some sort of transition stage, but He only reveals a little to you at a time – sort of keeping you in suspense! (I suspect He doesn’t want to show us what we’re not quite ready to handle!) Over the past few years God has enlarged our heart for bringing family and restoration to the orphan heart, both locally & globally. He’s also given us a real heart for Africa – now being the listmaker & life plan sorted out type that I am, I had a picture in my head of how it would/should all go. At some stage we’d have our own business which would of course do very well so it could fund regular mission trips – maybe for a few months each year. I still think it sounds like a sensible plan, but God doesn’t think the way we think, and the way we work isn't the way He works. I don’t even think he does sensible! So the plan that we thought was soooo perfect was soon to be blasted…

About two years ago when praying about whether to take on two permanent foster children, I asked God for a scripture, something of His in writing that I couldn’t argue with – what was in his heart for us to do. Straight away, he clearly gave me a scripture reference as his word on his plan for us. I didn’t recognize it at the time but quickly learned it by heart. Isaiah 58v12 “Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.”

When I looked back a few verses to get the verse in context I was blown away that God would so intimately know my hearts desires and every concern I had in regards to my ability to live out what He’d called us to do.


v5b-12 “Is not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your rightousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.”



When Pete was made redundant in Feb, we thought maybe that was the push we needed to start our own business – thus the start of urban patch. (By the way, if you want a really cool raised vege garden, give us a call!!).


Somewhere about this time a verse really caught my attention & I couldn’t get it out of my head. In fact, the whole family memorized it (except for Lily) because I felt it was to be a key verse for us this year. Hab 1v5 …"Look and be utterly amazed, for I am going to do something in your day that you would not believe, even if you were told". The kids would often & still do say it at random times throughout the day & each time I heard it I’d get a renewed sense of anticipation that ‘yes – God is going to do something’. At the same time not having a clue what it would be.


Now, I know this is getting a bit lengthy & you’re probably onto your third coffee, but I can’t stop now, I just can’t!! Soooo I might just skip a bunch of stuff that while being very cool probably isn’t crucial to give you the gist of the story. There’s all the words we’ve had given to us as individuals and as a family over the years, there’s the variety of work Pete’s had the opportunity to do that make him handier than Handy Manny, & there’s more, but maybe that’s another post.




Particulary over the past six or so months we’ve been feeling really challenged about the course God has for us & after getting our heads around God wanting us overseas for longer than a few months each year (that was one of those niggling thoughts I’d always had but tried to rationalize away!), and more recently, getting our heads around selling our home & possibly going with only our suitcases if that’s what God wants. At the same time, He’s been speaking to the kids & some of the stuff they’ve come out with is nothing short of amazing. Our heads are now in the process of catching up with Gods heart. In short, God has interrupted the season we thought we’d be in for a while longer, and given us a new one we didn’t dare dream would happen just yet; so now we’ve done the only thing left to do: we’ve admitted to God & to ourselves it’s a call we can’t deny, a love we can’t shake, and a journey we can’t help but take. We’ve said ‘YES!’ We don’t want to live a life of complacency. We want to take bold steps that are filled with complete trust in His grace, His courage and His power. We want to take the road less traveled… What is our YES going to look like? We’re not exactly sure! (That’s the exciting part – see I told you it was coming!). We just know that He wants us in Uganda to love on his kids that don’t have anyone feeding them, clothing them, educating them, mending their wounds - loving on them. Being Jesus hands to a country in so much need.


So is it crazy? – you betcha! Is it sensible? – probably not! Have we sought God and had continual confirmations that He wants us to go? Absolutely! How will it all go? – watch this space!


We’d love for you to journey with us (I’m not kidding, we’d really love for you to pack up and come with us!) and what we’d love even more is for you to consider whatever it is Gods calling you to do, to step out and begin walking the road less traveled…


p.s – for all you sensible folks lurking out there that never let your i’s go undotted, you know you can ask questions aye?!

The road less travelled - part 2

Thanks for all your encouraging comments - we're blessed to have the best bunch of friends ever! Ok, on with the story - I can't wait to get to the really exciting part but for now you'll have to do with this!


Six months after getting married we moved to Paihia. No money behind us, no job to go to, and all our possessions that could fit in the back of one van – the only security we had was knowing that’s where God wanted us to go! Once there, God soon provided work, a house we were miraculously able to buy at a ridiculous price with absolutely no deposit and only a small income, even more importantly we were given fantastic opportunities to grow our faith and develop many skills and qualities we now know will be essential for our new adventure. We saw on a small scale our big God provide often through miraculous ways. He grew our love for children & needy children especially. We started a kids outreach program through our church which we ran for about nine years during which time we saw an amazing coming together of churches for a common cause, and some miraculous breaking down of barriers between local schools and the churches. Even writing it now, makes it sound kinda exciting, but a lot of the time it was just real hard work & lots of prayer! I remember several times thinking to myself I’d love to just be a mum for a while that gets to visit with friends, go have coffee whenever I want, not have to spend countless hours each week planning kids programmes & everything else that went along with it – just to do whatever I wanted! I know, it sounds selfish & I’m sure we all have those moments where we don’t feel like carrying the weight & responsibility of what Gods called us to do. Deep down though, I knew I couldn’t give up what God wanted us to do – sometimes counting the cost of what we perceive we’re missing can cause us to become resentful or to give up. I encourage you not to give up whatever it is Gods called you to do, the grass is only greener where it’s being watered. Make sure you water your soul as well as your vision. We certainly didn’t have any clue of what the things we went through in Paihia would lead to.


It wasn’t long til it became clear that God had given our own children a similar passion to our own – that God had called us to serve him as a family (funny how he does that!). They had us hosting Easter parties for the neighbourhood where we’d be roped into doing gospel message puppet shows over the back of our couch - neighbourhood kids & their parents crammed into our small lounge (yes, we felt very cool, honestly, I laugh just thinking about it!). We’d be driving down the road and 5 yr old Josiah would constantly point people out and ask us if they knew Jesus & did I think we really should stop to tell them about Him.


All this time we knew God would one day have us serve Him as a family overseas but it seemed like such a long way off! Probably good, as we still had so much to learn!

Six years ago we moved from Paihia to Tauranga – again not knowing why God wanted us there but just knowing that He did! This time we had a job to go to, a truckload of stuff and a vanload of kids! Once again we saw Him seemingly move mountains for us to be able to buy land and build our home. While making the decision to move to Tauranga the idea dropped into my head that we were to homeschool the kids for one year. It must’ve been God, cos I was NEVER gonna homeschool, Pete even had to talk me around to sending the kids to a Christian school! Anyway, I got my head round doing it for one year – thought it would be kinda cool since we’d spent so much time with other peoples kids to get to hang with our own kids more and not get them at their worst at the end of each day! Six years later & still homeschooling & lovin it, it’s dawned on me maybe why God led us down that path – I just love it when he does stuff like that!!

Nearly at the real exciting stuff now but it's getting late & I need all the beauty sleep I can get! Soooo... it's gonna have to wait..

The road less travelled - part 1

As some of you already know, change is in the air for the Gordons! What you may not know is why on earth would we do such a crazy thing! Probably over the course of a few posts, this will be my attempt to invite you, our friends to share in our story, pray with us each step of the way and celebrate our incredible God that can move mountains and at the same time speak in whispers. To see how God plants a seed then waters and nurtures it for years and years until it is strong enough to be transplanted into the garden He’s planned for it to grow in. About the dreams of a little girls heart that a big God cares so much about He lets her think they’re her own……..


All good stories have a beginning (ours doesn’t have an end yet!), but I think the beginning’s the best place to start to begin to understand how our All Powerful God has moved and how He’s been working behind the scenes for years to accomplish His plan. We know this is a HUGE opportunity and challenge we have accepted and sometimes we want to scream with excitement, other times run in the opposite direction! Either way, we want you to personally join us as we begin possibly the craziest adventure of our lives to date…! Please join us as we begin our journey on the road less traveled…

As far back as I can remember all my growing up years were spent dreaming of becoming a missionary. I remember crying on altercalls because I felt the call of God so strongly on my life to serve Him amongst those who were most vulnerable and needy. As I grew I had my life plan sorted out - Finish school as soon as I could, train as a nurse, get married, have kids, go on the mission field. Yes, in that order! If life was only that simple!

Little did I know that a boy was growing up in a town several hours away from mine with that same desire to be a missionary – his road would have different bumps in it to mine, but by the time we met and married his heart would be sold out to God and his hands would be ready to serve.

We started off married life working at a childrens camp in Hawkes Bay, God separately reminded both Pete and I a few nights ago of a camper asking Pete the question “How many kids are you and Danielle going to have?” “Fifty!” was Petes quick reply. We laughed at the time, loving the gullability of kids as he thought Pete was serious! (Like who has 50 kids?!) But as years of married life went by – children came, and came, and came! (to date 19 children have been in our home for various lengths of time, including our bio kids) & who knows what the future will hold!

Looking back over the past 15 years & more, we can see God orchestrating events that we didn’t realise the implications of til now, and we know that there will be many more along the way – I could spend all day, recounting times of Gods training and crazy goodness, but tomorrow will give you just a few that stand out as significant. (Don't ya just love a bit of suspense?!)