Love is spoken here

I’m often asked if I’m loving it here. I’m presuming people mean the warm feeling of deep satisfaction you get when you’re really enjoying something. Good question - and one I find really hard to answer! This is my attempt ……
Love is much more than a warm feeling; it’s an attitude that is revealed through action.
When God called us to sell everything and move our family of 8 to Africa, he didn’t promise that we were going to love it all day long. Which I don’t. It doesn’t mean I hate it. In fact, you’ll see it’s just the opposite if you read all the way down. It simply means He made it clear to us the way He wants us to use our passions, skills and gifts for His glory. Just ‘loving it’ in the ‘totally enjoying every minute of it, warm fuzzy feeling’ kind of way isn’t how I’d describe it. I often get overwhelmed by the need surrounding me and my heart hurts with the enormity of it. I’ve learned it’s possible to cry tears of both sadness and joy at the same time, and often words escape me and I find it hard to describe how I’m feeling. It certainly doesn’t mean I want to pack up and go home – so don’t read this wrong!
Do I love being away from my friends and family? No

Do I love the fact that my kids struggle to maintain wonderful childhood friendships from half a world away? No

Do I love living in an overpopulated dusty city that is overflowing with rubbish, waste and who knows what else? No

Do I love being constantly surrounded by desperation, hopelessness and need, and feeling totally inadequate? No

I thank God for his grace - it covers my weakness. His Spirit - it comforts my soul. His love - that casts out my fear. His strength - which I can draw on daily. His will – which he invites us all to be a part of. His peace – which surpasses all understanding, and my response: would I want to be any other place – No.

Yes - I love the people here, and feel loved by those that have claimed us as their family.

Yes – I love seeing my children learn what it really means to love.

Yes - I love seeing us all having to rely on God in a deeper and more meaningful way than before.

Yes – I love the privilege of serving God alongside my family in whatever way he sees fit.

Yes – I love the stories of hope that arise out of despair.

Yes – I love Gods word that says He will work everything together for good for those that love him and are called according to his purpose.

My family will continue to speak the language of love on days we feel like it and on days we don’t, when it’s convenient and when it’s not, when it’s easy and when it costs. So, I guess you could say I’m loving it here, just not in the way most would think. I will most likely continue to shed tears of both sadness and joy at the same time. Hard to understand maybe, but that’s how it is. Above all, I know this is where God wants us, and I know that I can fully trust Him.

With

absolutely

everything