Processing

As we have many people sharing this journey with us, we want to be honest with how it’s going and sometimes that’s hard. Not necessarily because we don’t want to share it, but because there are so many things we’re experiencing that we struggle to put into words! We are faced with realities, western mindsets, and Gods word that challenges us to the very core. Things that you can’t really prepare yourself for until you’re immersed in this new life.

This post may be ‘bitsy’, but these thoughts aren’t neatly organised in my head, so they’re probably not going to come out so organised and eloquently either!

Last month we had a team here with us for two weeks (including 4 nurses – yay!) we set up a free HIV testing clinic to test and refer for treatment the families within our community program as well as our residential kids – we tested around 400 people this time around. On day two as I gave out a second days worth of test results I came home with a variety of emotions to process. Why was it the ones that already had gone through so much hardship now had to face HIV? The rejoicing, and in some cases dancing around the room when giving a negative result to mamas who have put off testing themselves and their children in fear of a positive result. The feeling of helplessness when faced with a myriad of people wanting help with health and social issues that need addressing but the lack of resources to address them. Thankfulness for the 11 Australians that gave up 2 weeks of their time to come and serve long days to make such a difference in the lives of those in this large slum area… and many more emotions I just haven’t had time to put a name to yet! We truely feel so totally privileged to be here and be apart of peoples lives in such a personal way.

From the day we arrived we've been challenged by living in a nice western style home that doesn’t leak, has running water and electricity (most days!) while most here have neither. The gap between rich and poor is huge and there isn’t much middle ground. Yet we know we wouldn’t last long in a 3x3m shack. We have so much and they have so little. But again, that’s my western mind talking. Stuff is WAY overrated, money could never buy what these people have. We know it was only through Gods miraculous provision that we even have this house, so this is where we’ll live for now til he leads us elsewhere. The good thing about our place is the huge section which has now been turned into a garden to feed 5 families!

Jeds corn patch!

Now, taking photos. I know some blogs and websites post photos that shock and make you weep. I’m not there yet. It’s not that we don’t face situations of this kind, in fact the opposite is true, we face absolutely heartbreaking stuff every day, but I can’t bring myself to ask to take a photo of someone in such a vulnerable state. Yes, it might raise money and awareness – both of which are much needed, it might give people a more accurate picture of what we do - but when asked to have their picture taken, how many of these people are told that their severely malnourished or dying child or dismal housing situation is going to be broadcast to the world. (and yes I know some will say if that’s what it takes to help them they’d do anything – but is that really what it takes, or is there another way?) Are we so much like Thomas wanting to see the holes in Jesus hands before he would belive it was really him, that we can’t just take God at his word and do what it says. And what do the people around that see you taking the picture think. This is their life, they’re not a tourist attraction. There must be a line here, but I’m still trying to work out where it is. These are just thoughts I’m dealing with, so don’t shoot me if you don’t agree, just convince me otherwise :)

We find ourselves asking ‘What would Jesus do?’ or ‘What did Jesus do?’ on a regular basis here. It’s not just an overused slogan for a wristband anymore! What does God say about how I should deal with this situation? It can be easy to let our western mindset dictate what we should do, but that doesn’t always bring about the long term sustainable change that these people so desperately need? Some days its putting a bandaid on a situation to provide a temporary solution, to just stop the bleeding while we try to figure out the best solution for long term change.

There are so many things that mess with your thinking here (which is a good thing). We can see how we've 'westernized' the gospel. The message of the bible is for all people groups, and you really start to look at the scriptures from a different perspective here. We’re learning from our kids who Christ often refers to when talking about entering his kingdom, saying we must become like children. To them the gospel is uncomplicated, Jesus says to love your neighbour, give to the poor, look after the orphan. So they remind us to stock up on food they can hand out to beggars while we’re driving. They regularly ask when we can adopt orphaned brothers and sisters. I love their childlike faith which literally takes God at his word, may that never change.

We know we’re going to make mistakes and already have. But if we have to make mistakes I pray they’re ones that err on the side of generous love.