Peer pressure, Shelly, Simba & diaper clad monkeys

People say being a kid is hard with all the peer pressure and stuff, but I say it’s not all easy being a parent either, and last month it was Pete and I that caved to the peer pressure –twice. Only they weren’t really peers, they were more like um ..... ok, they were our kids. We now have an apparently 130yr old tortoise called Shelly that someone was selling on the side of the road and a kitten. On top of the 2 dogs, 4 chooks, rooster, I don’t know how many fish and occasional birds and chameleons we find living in Drews room, and the tiny frog I just discovered today that came back with us from holiday in a drink bottle nearly 3 weeks ago.

I should get points for saying no to a crocodile – I know, sounds like it’s an impossible request anyway, but no, I live in Africa and the boys know someone that knows someone that has a couple for pets, it’s totally doable here, I jest not. But with six kids that never ever quarrel, I can picture the numbers getting whittled down quite quickly. Either by themselves or a mama on a bad day. One has to draw the line somewhere.

There’s a campaign going on by some teenage males in the family to get a monkey, not just any monkey but this tiny one that’s trained to do it’s business in diapers and lay on the couch and watch movies. Those same teenagers plan to open a zoo when the oldest has made his millions by the age of 30 something and the next one is a successful vet. Not just any zoo either, but a supposedly highly interactive one where you can go into the monkey room and lie on the couch and watch TV with the monkeys (who will of course be wearing diapers), they’ll watch Animal Planet & National Geo and be trained to cover their eyes at the scary bits when zebras get eaten by lions. They’ll also be trained to make their monkey hands into circles, turn them upside down and put them over their eyes to make it look like they’re watching TV with spectacles on, and the one that almost made me say I’ll help them start their zoo are the monkeys that’ll be holding fake moustaches on sticks up against their upper lips. Ok, it looked really funny when I pictured it, but if it’s not your thing, I get it and that’s ok. We can still be friends.

Anyway, I’m worried. Really worried. Is my house turning into a zoo? And when do you actually go from just having pets to having a zoo. What if the self declared millionaire doesn’t actually make his millions and I cave to peer pressure once again and find myself selling tickets for people to come lie on my couch and watch TV with monkeys?

Might just have to train them to watch Miranda I’m thinking.

 

yes, that would be tortoise eggs she's checking. It seems we have a female, just hoping those eggs aren't fertile!

Simba

...and I'm already on babysitting duty...! Like my cat sling?!